Tricky
Have been riddled with fractured anxiety the past week, both a busy life and a busy mind, lots of decisions to be made, hardware failure, lots of things up in the air in "undecided" territory (they're the worst, right!!???) and lots of goals i'm working towards.
Not really feeling any of the above as optional, which adds to the pressure felt internally, and i've left myself feeling utterly spent. But that's OK, it happens!
It's important to try and recognise when you reach the brink of being overwhelmed. Once you recognise and accept you are feeling overwhelmed, (at any point before you reach the 'broken' stage) you allow yourself the choice of being constructive or destructive (unlikely to be instantaneous, and otherwise won't always feel like a choice)
Take a step FORWARD, as in, a step away from everything going on in your mind:
"Oh do shut up smiffy, if it were that simple, why would i be here reading your ramble!" - ok warranted, but hear/read me out.
We are creatures of habit, routine is a powerful thing, it brings both structure and stability, two very important things for someone like myself. There will always be something (or someone) that acts as a trigger or catalyst - much like an explosion, once the catalyst presents itself, it causes a chain reaction that is only really constrained by the amount of 'fuel' available. So let's consider that the 'fuel' here is your imagination, and the only constraint is the limits of such... Sounds disastrous right!? I'm pretty sure i've not met a boundary of my imagination as yet, have you??? With that in mind, the only thing that seems clear, is that we need to tackle it at the catalyst, before it becomes a 'cataclysm of the mind' Going for a walk, often with my headphones, is a pretty good way to do the above. Id be inclined to say dont go OTT with the music, something placid or laidback advised, but arguably each to their own, what works for me, wont work for you. I won't go into the science of exercise/endorphins today, if you are interested, there's a fairly good summary here that should cover anything i miss. But as simply as i can put it, the exercise and subsequent endorphins override some of the negativty in your brain (more free/positive headspace) So now you've got natural chemicals subtly changing your mood and by extension, ability to think. (I find walking with no real destination and opting to walk lesser trodden paths, personally - change is good!!!!) Prioritise - Once you have calmed/settled yourself, look at whats going on in your head, and what is causing (or triggering) you to feel like you do. What is giving you the most inner turmoil? What is making you want to run and run and run? What is making you feel so worthless? Seperate - Break them down, using these categories:
Things you can change now.
Things you can change over time.
Things you can't change.
Act/Plan - If you're anything like me, you will hold off of doing certain things because your mind has gone AWOL and imagined that if you do something the world and you are doomed. This can be as simple as a phonecall to someone about an outing or arrangement.
When you prioritise your triggers or thoughts by severity (actually visualise a priority list in your mind) you have a means to compare them, wen you compare based on internal severity, it becomes easier to ACT on the smaller things. But acting on these lesser severe pulls (and for the most part, resolving - or indeed realising your anxiety was totally unwarranted anyway!!! also very common!!) , you put them out of your head completely, once again freeing up a little more headspace for what else is going. Make plans or set (realistic) targets for the things that require 'over time' application. Whilst
theres no 'insta-fix' having plans or targets, leaves less to the unknown (a very dangerous place for the overthinker)
And last, but by no means least. Recognise when things are out of your control. Control is a nice thing to have (because it reflects stability...?) and something i often crave, its only been in recent months that i've realised the feeling of being in control, or controlling things, can emulate some form of stability... But relentlessly thinking on things you have no power over (its addictive because you crave control to fill a void) will ultimately just run you far past the boundary of 'broken' on the fast train to despair... Not going to make excuses, there should have been more posts for the last week or so, I lost myself a little, i let too many catalysts take hold! Sorry!
Smiffy
xxx